It’s the last week of autumn in my calendar. Just as well, because they’re predicting snow by Thursday. The forecast started out as “well, it’s going to be cold enough so if stuff falls from the sky, it might be snow”. This morning that turned into “best dig out the snow shovel”.
I think they’re being alarmist. Though, to be fair, it really hasn’t stopped raining since it started a week ago. It’s not been raining very hard that whole time. More like a constant spitting mist. You can be outside in it for hours — as I was today — and not even get a wet head. But there have been some really good showers. Enough to soak the soil in my garden. Which is fantastic! I have all the autumn planting done (dozens of bulbs, perennials to fill the holes and a new hedge on the new deep veg bed — mostly winterberry holly). Light rain and cool temperatures are exactly what the garden needs.
It has also been cold enough for snow, though we’ve not had many days that stayed in the 30s (°F) all day like it did today. So… I don’t know. If the temperature stays where it is and if this constant drizzle with occasional downpours keeps up… it could be shoveling snow by Thursday… And Friday is Hallowe’en.
Hallowe’en was the best holiday of the year when my kids were young. We had an enormous spider web with one of those three-foot diameter wire and fuzz spiders that was rigged up in the jack pines out front. Let loose the rope by the door and the spider dropped on beggars as they were coming up the walk. All the neighborhood kids were in on the trick and wanted to take turns with the rope. They would start talking about it in July.
I also had a nice selection of costumery because one, I owned a kid’s bookstore and two, a cloak is one thing I can sew. I made the boys into hobbits one year. We had all the Harry Potter costumes, left over from various book release parties. Steampunk and noir future punk were big. And pirates! There were many pirates.
But I’ve never been into gruesome. I don’t see the fun in blood. I hate that kids and women are always prey. (Except when they are pure evil… and still, they usually prey on kids and women.) And, well, don’t we have enough actual pain and fear? Do we have to manufacture zombies and chainsaw massacres and cannibals? (Can’t hold a candle to lymphoma and hurricanes and polyethylene in breast milk.)
This is not what Hallowe’en is to me. Yes, there is a whole lot of fun, though even as a kid I enjoyed parties and games more than sugar and horror. (Again, is blood really that entertaining?) I know I must have gone trick-or-treating, but I don’t have one memory of doing so. I do have memories of successfully catching an apple suspended on a string using just my teeth and playing “light as a feather” with my friends. (Now, that is weird…) But the fun is a mask on the deeper meaning, and the older you get the harder it is to keep that mask in place.
Hallowe’en is about mortality, plain and simple. It is the end of the harvest, the death of the year, the beginning of winter, the time of darkness. These are the days when we feel close to those we have lost, and we remember that we will join them, perhaps soon. Maybe it’s the rattle of dry leaves. Maybe it’s the cold wind like soft fingers on the back of the neck. Maybe it’s the vast open sky at night, a whole universe of utter indifference.
I don’t like feeling like a grumpy old witch, but I also don’t like that there is nothing hallowed about Hallowe’en anymore. Nor, to be honest, is there very much fun. When was the last time you bobbed for apples? Or had a bonfire? A hayride? Or danced all night at a masquerade? Does plastic-packaged candy taste as sweet as a real caramel apple? And when was the last time you were allowed to give kids something you made?
Doesn’t seem like the trick-or-treating kids are having much fun. They mostly look tired, and the younger ones are frankly confused by the whole thing. It’s not that they are scared, just perplexed by adults in costumes and a whole parade of strange doorways. There isn’t a good explanation for any of this, no context. I want to bring them all inside and let them sit by the fireplace, warm and safe, and tell them ghost stories as they drink hot chocolate.
Do you know any ghost stories? Not the violent slasher stuff, but a story of a soul lost between the worlds. I collect ghost stories. Ghost stories are beautiful, sad, poignant… They evoke empathy and grief. They are morality tales, tales of human mistakes and missed chances and misunderstanding. Ghosts are angry avengers or guilt-ridden transgressors or lonely lost children who never had a chance to be fully alive.
What ghosts generally aren’t is capable of interacting with the living. Except on Hallowe’en when we living beings are thinking most about endings and death. I think that is what is meant when people talk about the “veil between the worlds” being thin this time of year. It’s not that the veil thins (veils are generally thin already…) it’s that we are looking directly at it for once. And there is so much disaster, so many bad decisions, bad faith, so much loss, it’s hard not to be staring right through that veil all the time, even in broad daylight. Or what passes for that in early winter. We are ringed about with ghost stories in the making.
When you’re in this sort of a mood, it’s very hard to work up the energy to deal with packaged Halloween. I haven’t bought the candy yet. Don’t know if I will because it’s expensive and the likelihood of trick-or-treaters is slim this year. The snow may not happen, but it will certainly be cold and wet. I wouldn’t take my kids out in weather like this… I have put out the outdoor decorations and have a bit of orange and black inside the house. And I picked out a pumpkin to carve when we were up at the orchard… but carving hasn’t happened and it probably won’t.
Now, there is an exercise in futility… work for an hour or so gutting, carving and cleaning up the mess… set your masterpiece on the porch… then watch the clock. If it’s not the squirrels, it’s the teenagers. Or it will simply freeze and then thaw into a mushy puddle. One way or another it will be destroyed before October 31st. Even if you don’t set it out until the 30th…
So I just don’t know that much is going to happen this year. And that has been true for a few years running now. This makes me sad. Mostly for the kids. No Hallowe’en memories of the crazy house with the gigantic spider dropping out of the jack pines and the fantastic cookies they handed out. Just a lot of confusion… and plastic packaged sugar… Which is just not Hallowe’en…
Guess I’ll watch Hocus Pocus and call it a night…
But maybe I’ll still wear the hat…
Now, there is one tradition I will not let slide. When I carve a pumpkin, I scrounge the seeds out of the pumpkin snot, spread them on a baking sheet, coat them with Northwoods Fire spice mix from Penzey’s and a bit of salt, and roast them. I put them at the very top of the oven with the temperature set to 300°F. Takes about an hour at that temperature to turn them toasty and crunchy.
This year, not having carved a pumpkin and the prospects not being great on that happening, I roasted two pie pumpkins and saved the seeds from them. Then with the pie pumpkin meat I made pumpkin butter. Ended up with five quarts of butter, four of which are in the freezer. And I have a large bowl of pumpkin seeds.
I have three more pie pumpkins (got them 5 for $30…). And the two large carving pumpkins. I should have enough seeds to be snacking all winter.
Probably will turn the rest of the pie pumpkins into bread though. I think five quarts is more than enough butter for me!
the perfect vehicle for pumpkin butter!
©Elizabeth Anker 2025
By My Solitary Hearth 
There is very little by way of celebrating Halloween here – not even in the shops 🙂
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