Solitary

cave
oh yes

you — just once i’ve wanted to flow
	as i am
		just once
because i get lost in my own creation

i wish you could join me
	always alone in my corner

you — it’s so odd, but i was right
	i am truly insane
	because i arrive at the same conclusions

and yes
	oh, just yes
     is all i know

so much is total nonsense
	i keep — artist-priest
	i keep getting it tuned in
		and then reception fades away
 and yes
	oh, just yes

you know it’s so odd
	i’m always in my corner
     and i feel someone has a hand out
but i can never
	i can never
     grasp it

reality has dimensions
	beyond the lights and glitter
     and some little man
	just begs
to come out of all of us
	but no matter where we are
     he can’t stretch apart
	the little threads of reality
		enough
for just anyone to hear
	but does anybody —
		hear

i know tomorrow i’ll understand
	somewhere it must make sense
and somewhere 
	the grass feels so good
		home
     i only want that feeling
home
	some violin melody take me there

but god
	that little demon
     he just keeps tearing out of me
it’s so odd
	no, i suppose
		it’s normal
but that little demon
	he just won’t go
     and he keeps compelling
always
	just one more word
     to what
	who
		just nobody

i keep hearing it though
i know somewhere
	no, wait, we had that argument
and yet
	i’m still here
	in my corner
	we’re still here
	me and my pen
we hold up the silent cynics corner
	me and my pen

i wish
     i could just once
	be happy
     and have music like angels
not demons

yes

©Elizabeth Anker 2021