The Daily: 30 October 2023

So the question of whether or not this house would be open for trick-or-treat business was answered for me. 

I spent Saturday doing most of the cleaning. I got all the rodent mess cleaned off the front porch in anticipation of making a spooky welcome out there. Nothing spooky about pumpkin rind gnawed up and spat out all over the steps. The idiotic squirrels had also dug in an empty pot and spread potting soil all over the rug. Probably more spitting involved in that. I tried not to think about it too much. There were also normal messes like leaves and dirty windows. So that was a project. 

Before I got done, the rain had started along with a fair amount of wind. I was getting wet out there. And whatever I put out there would also get wet. So I put off decorating and made pumpkin bread instead.

Sunday morning I took something out to the recycling bin on the back porch and was hit with the temperature change. It must have dropped nearly 40°F overnight. There was still no frost, but the air was cold enough to make sleet and corn snow out of the rain. And it did not warm up. Nor did it stop raining. I needed lights on in the house to see because it was so dark. 

I did more chores, getting the sourdough and yogurt going and trying to fix the front screen door latch — which has inexplicably decided to stop opening. I got nowhere with that, but figured out how to open the door without using the latch. (Yet another thing that needs to be replaced… but not today…) As I was beginning the yogurt, I noticed that one of my spatulas looked a little ragged. I wondered what I’d done to break off little chunks and not notice. I dropped it into the sink to wash and didn’t think much more about it… until I pulled out a second tool that looked similarly ragged. Then alarm bells went off.

I had cleaned out under the sink on Saturday. There was evidence of mice around the compost bucket. I removed the cabinet liner and scrubbed it all down well. I plugged up two holes around the plumbing and then put all the stuff back.

Well, they couldn’t get back into the sink cabinet… but they took their revenge!

The ragged utensils had been chewed up and spat out just like the squirrel mess on the front porch. These were silicon spatulas. I imagine they would taste like dirt. If that good… The rodents didn’t swallow too much of it from the pile of chewed stuff in the drawer. So… the yogurt was put on hold and I emptied out that whole drawer, washing all the utensils and the tray that keeps it all sort of organized. I opened up other drawers and didn’t see anything as obvious as the chewed up spatulas. So, after cleaning that drawer I made the yogurt and got the bread rising.

Then I needed breakfast, so I got into a different drawer… and guess what…

The end result was that all the drawers and lower cabinets in my kitchen needed deep cleaning. I don’t have a dishwasher. Nor do I have much in the way of counter space. So this project took over my dining room as well as the kitchen. I had to wash all the silverware, most of my pots and pans, all the utensils, and all the washcloths and towels. I threw away all the cabinet and drawer liners and laid down new liner. (Lucky I bought too much when I moved in and had a couple rolls stashed away.) The vermin only chewed one other thing — my silicon baking mats. I had to toss them. I nearly cried — though to be honest, they were getting pretty gross anyway. And they’d started to develop a rough surface, which probably means bits are falling off on my food. I’m pretty sure it’s non-toxic, but… It was time to replace them.

My kitchen is now sparkling. Everything is put back. Some things are easier to get to now. I only lost the baking mats and those two spatulas, so I think I got off light. If you count several hours of cleaning, very likely a whole tank of hot water used, and hands pickled by dishwashing as light. Still, it could have been worse. I’ve lived in old houses most of my life; I’ve seen worse. 

But this certainly interfered with decorating. Not that I felt too inclined to stand out in the cold sleet putting up lights and creepy décor. Nor could I see much in the attic without a flashlight. It’s never fun walking around up there when the weather is dark. Way too many ways to trip or knock your head. And there are always spiderwebs. I don’t mind spiders, but I think humans have an innate revulsion for getting web in the face.

So I wasn’t looking forward to that, but it was still on the table. Or at least a light version. I figured I could get out my electric pumpkin head and maybe a few of the plastic bones and spiders and come up with a fun entryway. I couldn’t do much about the lack of carved pumpkins, but I could get candy on the way home from work. I doubt there will be many trick-or-treaters out anyway. It’s supposed to be 26°F tomorrow morning and not warm up substantially during the day. The rain may stop, but that’s a bit cold for wandering around in the dark. If I had small ones, I’d be finding a more indoor version of costumed fun.

Still, I was planning on pulling out a bit of trick-or-treat preparation. Just in case…

Until I was taking the trash out to the bin.

You know how you can put up with an avalanche of annoyance and difficulty, doggedly enduring and mending and dealing, but then a teaspoon more will set you over the edge? Or maybe that’s just me… I’ve been cleaning up my garden for weeks now. In all weather. Pulling weeds, planting new perennials and shrubs, filling in the gullies here and there, covering everything in mulch. Anyone who has driven by my house in the last month has surely seen this, or at least has noticed that there is much less flood damage and rampant growth. And on this side of the road, it’s done. It is looking really good actually. I was feeling rather proud of myself.

So this was the teaspoon… I was carrying the bag of rodent destruction trash out to the bin and what do I see? Some asshole had apparently stopped their car and dumped a six pack of large beer cans on my front bank. Not on the sidewalk. Not in the road. Not in the jungle on the other side of the road. (Though that makes me mad also…) But on top of some of the new plants I had just put out. They broke an aster. I think it will survive, but that’s not the point. Why would you do that? 

And I decided that I was done with people this week. I know this asshole probably doesn’t have kids. (I hope not anyway!) So I’m not getting back at anyone in going on Halloween strike this year. But that was apparently my limit. Rodent messes all day. Cold, wet weather. No time to address any of this. Really, no budget for it either. A low probability of seeing the little kids who actually enjoy trick-or-treating coupled with a high probability of pumpkin-smashing adolescents. And six beer cans dumped on the work I’ve been putting in for weeks pushed me over the edge. 

I decided to get the ironing done instead…

I’m not buying candy. I’m not turning on the porch lights. I’m not going to make an effort to get home before sunset. I’m going to keep the curtains closed, light some candles and read, maybe with Young Frankenstein playing in the background (because everything’s better with Gene Wilder…). Maybe roast pumpkin seeds and eat some of that pumpkin bread.

I guess I’m ahead of schedule now. I can pull out the early winter stuff without having to clean away Halloween. Though I do have my Day of the Dead stuff out… but that’s for me. And maybe that’s what I want now. I put up with people for over 45 hours a week. I want holidays just for me.

But… in the event that you are not on Halloween strike, I found this fantastic music mix on YouTube. Maybe you can use it.

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©Elizabeth Anker 2023